Blossom Forth, In Which We Find Ourselves Where We Began

Well here I am again. Sitting in the same office I left four years ago and with my fourth start on this blog, I am so far from where I was and (as usual) so close at the same time. What did I accomplish on my 8 weeks out? I couldn't possibly recount what happened over those two months, four years ago. I know I did get somethings done, I wrote about them everyday, but my memory has let them gently fade into the background and paved over them with memories of far more glamorous events (like getting caught in my first hurricane). I have let writing fall into the background along with those memories, though I have written here and there in journals and on my phone (strangely, I find inspiration strikes me when I am on an airplane, listening to music) I am still struggling with having the discipline to write when ideas come to me for example, this popped into my head while I was driving the other day and I haven't written it down...until now:

Standing at the edge between darkness and light, staring into the unending blackness of sorrow and despair, the inky velvet creeps up to you, into you until everything is gone and only a shadowy void exists anywhere around you. Before you let yourself sag into that void, before you let it rob you of every last drop of hope, look, look closer at that immense blackness do you see it? A flash, a tiny glimmer of light, the most fleeting luminescent moment, keep your eyes on it, so ephemeral you're not sure it was really there, but another incandescent point appears and vanishes, through two breaths, three another and another. Stitched together like stars on a string these brief moments of light representing the bright moments in your life, will light up your way through the darkness and bring you safely to the other side, where you are held in hope's embrace and it's glow will warm you and keep you safe against the darkness of despair.

Okay, that's something I've written.

My life continues to amaze me, that little hopeless girl bounced around from place to place, with no security, no resources, no prospects, no hope, has landed in the most marvelous place. All those little sparks of light strung together have wrapped me up in the insulation of hope, and despite misgivings in my youth, my life is a shimmering, lustrous filament in the tapestry of life.

I will have to read back over the original 8 Weeks blog because I can't remember if there were any Mummies shows while I was keeping the blog. I can't imagine there were, I never take my computer with me when we travel and for a long time, I was very good about writing everyday.

So one of the magical things in my life is that my Best Beloved has been invited over and over to play all around the world and he takes me with him. I should look back over the trips and at least write a little about them, because there have been some unbelievably, enchanting moments in those trips. Sardegna was A-MAZ-ING. The soft air, the tiny villages, the Mediterranean sea it's turquoise body stretching out endlessly. We watched a child buy beers from the concession stand, mouths agape as the clerk took the child's money and handed him three, opened Heinekens. The Milky Way was smeared unapologetically across the sky bringing tears to my eyes, it had been so long since I had seen the stars in their places.

I am trying hard to concentrate on this, but I am at at work, writing in between tasks and it is HARD to keep a train of thought going. I'm off.