Day ("but ours go to") Eleven, Thursday Evening

Today started with a bit of humor. As the alarm tried, vainly, to rouse me from the slumber I had finally fallen into, a thought struck me and I panicked. I didn't attend to the bills yesterday and now since it was Friday, I was too late and the second mortgage would be late and all because I was a bit lazy and let it slide yesterday. I got up, rushed in to wake the children and ran downstairs to attend to finances before I was any later. I logged into our account and tried, with sleepy eyes in need of progressive lenses, to see what I needed to attend to. I noticed that the pay date read 9/26. "That's funny", I remarked to TR, "if you enter everything in early enough it thinks it's still the day before". He seemed a little confused so I explained how the pay date was 9/26 and usually it was at least one day after I entered in all the requests. I glanced over at the calendar and realized that it WAS the day before. I had completely bought into the early-morning-not-actually-fully-conscious-panic-attack syndrome, that I suffer from more and more frequently. So I paid everything, am not late with anything, and at 7:00am could scratch;

• Pay bills

off my list.

SO here's the list of ambitions I made today:

• Pay bills
• DVDs ( remember what I said about that one?)
• Brek with E&C
• Sub @ exwork
• Keep on sideboarding
• LAUNDRY!
• Middle Kid pick up
• Big Kid pick up
• List 10 things you love ( this was included because I was feeling blue this morning)

I did pay bills, have breakfast with E&C, subbed before and after breakfast, pick up ALL the kids I was meant to, and made a silly love list. DVDs will go on the list tomorrow, I can't remember what I did with sideboard stuff, one little tiny thing that made me feel a bit better about not having really sorted at all. Oh yeah, I sorted out the stamps, because I needed one, but still they are all organized in one place.

I got a lot of good advice from E&C about arranging my house and life the way I want them to be. Sometimes for me it really helps to see other people on their journey, to hear their hopes and disappointments. I can see that my own experiences aren't isolated and that attaining my dreams is possible. I see that while I am not at either end of the spectrum of life, I am in the spectrum of life and more and more I can see the direction I want to move in.

I spent a good 3 hours at exwork today. I felt very appreciated, with each "Miss Z!", I heard shouted out by an affectionate child, I missed it more and more. I dropped off the paperwork requesting a leave of absence, so we'll see what happens.

I seem to have hit a wall tonight, perhaps it is because I am writing on the couch while TR is watching in interesting documentary on Jazz. It's hard not to listen and think about what is going on on the screen. Life was so different then. I wonder what a person from now would do if they found themselves suddenly transported to then. Okay, I really have hit the wall, I'm out for tongiht. Accountability had been taken care of for today. Tomorrow I'm off to look at shelves so I can organize the basement some.

Good night

I want to make this!