- Quick bathroom clean
- Finish up laundry (in real life I left off the part about ironing, I knew that was too ambitious!)
- Call furniture donation station
- Call re: OBC ?
- High School volunteer
- Clear out in front of bedroom bookcase
- Jr/Sr Mtg High School
- TR pick up
- Clean out fridge
I DID, give the bathroom a quick clean, finish my laundry (sans ironing) and wash and dry all the kids laundry ( I couldn't take it anymore), pick up TR, clean the kitchen (most thoroughly) AND best of all I called the furniture donation station and they TOOK THE SIDEBOARD AWAY!!!
It's gone, completely out of the house and there is a big space where it was. Of course the dining room looks like the sideboard threw up on it before it left. There is flotsam and jetsam everywhere, which will be part of tomorrow's task, clearing the decks.
I feel good, I can see a bit more clearly what I have accomplished and I think I may have realized something about myself. I think that no matter how hard I work or how much I do accomplish, I still feel like I haven't done anything, I feel I am, hopeless, useless as if I am running in place. Maybe this is why I am always hesitant to try anything, it won't change anything. My efforts will be for nought and I might as well sit on the couch enjoying someone else's story. I have noticed that when I am playing the silly video game on my phone that my, usually, hyperactive thinking parts are blissfully quiet. It really is the only time that I am aware that my mind is quiet. Perhaps that is why I seek it out, maybe I need that absolute silence every now and then. I have found that even when I try to 'meditate' ( I use mini-quotes because it is never really meditative for me) my mind rushes in a million directions at once, as usual, but I am trying to contain them and push them back down and the dialog in my head is worse than if I don't 'meditate' at all, ever. Mosaics was an art form in which I found a great deal of peace and silence. Maybe I should break out my tools and finish up that project I started 3 or 4 years ago.
So sideboard...gone, piano...gone (but not forever), OBC...out the door tomorrow. Those are three pretty big tasks that I have been wanting to take care of for some time. The house is noticeably different and once I weed through all the little bits left behind, it will look even better.
Tomorrow I will also take Prima to look for a dress to wear to a fancy party she has been invited to. I do love shopping with her, it is one time that she really opens up and shares all sorts of things about herself, her feelings about things, her observations about life, plans she's cooking up. I love it!
TR and I had a looong talk this morning about how I try to take care of all the people around me and because they are so used to it, they never think twice about asking for a little more. It gets overwhelming sometimes and I find myself unable to say no, trying to fit more and more in, getting more and more stressed out until I am crying from one errand to the next. I have been mindful of setting funny boundaries lately (though not with my children, because I can hardly ever say no to them). I didn't offer to cover the cost of the whole month's payment for the horse, even though I could have and C wasn't sure she would have the money tomorrow. I felt selfish, and feel selfish writing it down here, but that is the kind of thing I always do and then I can't get back out of it. The other person forgets the deal we have struck after I have bailed them out and I don't know how to remind them they still need to hold up their end of the bargain. So I must let myself off the hook for saving everybody all the time, and also give other people a chance to be the savers (having nothing to do with thrift stores) once in a while.
So ends another entry, keeping me on task and on target (whatever that maybe) if nothing else, I am doing this everyday, as I had planned and stated I would do. Good Night!
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| Alaska inspired mosaic vase, outside |
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| and inside! |
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