Day Fourteen, Sunday Night: Six Weeks To Go

Doldrums 1: a spell of listlessness or despondency, 2 often capitalized : a part of the ocean near the equator abounding in calms, squalls and light shifting winds, 3: a state or period of inactivity, stagnation, or a slump, 4: see me today.

I am in the doldrums. The sideboard seems to be growing larger and taking up more room everyday. Now I am just piling things on it again. I feel a bit like Rabbit in "Winnie The Pooh" when Pooh gets stuck in Rabbit's front door and has to slim down before he can be pulled out, so Rabbit uses Pooh's legs to dry his dishtowels. The sideboard has become Winnie The Pooh. Tomorrow I AM going to call the furniture store to see if I can donate it and they will pick it up. If not...kindling?

I tried to do all sorts of things but there seems to still be a cork in my creative jar. Nothing will come out. I tried a blanket, I tried a necklace. At one point I just sat in the studio looking all all the stuff I have to make neat things with. I ended up making a necklace out of buttons and ribbon. I have been reduced to pre-school crafts. Maybe a good project would be to fix up the cottage and start having monthly craft sessions with friends. I imagine it would inspire me and use up a fair amount of supplies as well.

I can't really think of a single productive thing I did today, no wait, I did sort out all the felted cashmere squares I have prepared. I am hoping to make a blanket this week. I chucked the blue one I made that His Nibs chewed to pieces ( really what was I thinking? I gave him a bit of felted cashmere as a lovey when he was a puppy and he chewed it to bits. It was only a matter of time before the blanket went too!). He seems to have outgrown his chewing habit, so I think I'm safe replacing it now.

Besides that really nothing. I went to Primo's practice where he played admirably and got a shout out from the coach at the end of practice. He scored his first goal, all on his own! He was so proud and pleased, he twinkled all over. He also got checked pretty hard, but shook it off. I held back every mother bone in my body when he went down. I don't think anyone noticed me start to jump up and force myself back down. The last thing he needs is an over-reactive mommy making a fuss at practice.

So that leads me to doldrums, really, the inactivity is appalling with me at the moment. even with this blog I feel like I am dragging ideas out of myself. I will say that I was in my Bitter Heart state today. In this state I am not exactly a hater, I am just bitter towards everyone and everything. People move to slow or push to hard on me. I'm not really satisfied with anything and I make a lot of snarky remarks when I am experiencing Bitter Heart. Right in the middle of it I ran into a woman that I really like, who is one of the most zen, spiritually peaceful people I have ever met. I took it as a sign of hope. Even in my most hateful state of mind, sweet things can happen. It made me cry a little bit to feel so loved by the universe. Then I went right back to bitter me. Oh well I guess there is always tomorrow!

I am going to list goals tonight so I am all raring to go in the morning. For my household's general well being and continued comfort I plan on:

• A cursory cleaning of the bathroom
• Finishing up laundry ( including, dare I add it, ironing my favorite shirt)
• Calling about furniture donation
• (maybe) calling to confirm appointment for OBC
• Volunteering if I am needed (at Prima's school)
• Clearing out my room in front of the book case
• JR/SR meeting at Big Kid school

I can't think of anything else. Maybe I will be stuck by inspiration tomorrow!

Dublin, Ireland

P.S. I have been meaning to say that even though I write this blog assuming NO ONE is reading, there must be someone in the wide world looking in, because the times-viewed-number keeps going up. Hello to you!