Day One Hundred and Two, Merry Christmas To You on Thursday Night

Christmas has gone through many metamorphoses since I remember them occurring. As a child the anticipation of gifts and sweets kept me up, adrenaline pumping through my body as I imagined all that I might find in the morning.Waking up after what must have been 45 minutes of sleep, running down stairs at full speed and, digging into stockings with my sisters then the waiting for presents until after breakfast. When we were little and Santa was still presented as fact I didn't realize that G'ma and G'mpa sent a huge box of packages every year, but as I got older that big brown box carried the excitement in it. They wrapped bunches of gifts, large and small and we loved digging through, picking out the packages and tearing the paper off to discover the treasure side. One year we all received gifts from a museum store, I got an amazing, intricately carved walnut that came on a tiny stand, made especially for it. Another year I was the recipient of antique garnet jewelry. One year we all got matching Norwegian sweaters. They were very creative with the gifts they gave and our lives were so sparse that we loved everything they sent us.

As I got older Christmas lost some of the pageantry, I became disillusioned by the family politics that I grew aware of and as I felt more and more disconnected from the acting Grandparents we celebrated with, I stopped going to family celebrations and looked outside for company on Christmas. These celebrations were often parties at a friend or acquaintance's house with tons of other unattached people, drinking, dancing, staying up way too late and heading home alone wondering what it was all about. It took a lot of the magic of Christmas away and I stopped really looking forward to it. When TR and I started dating, Christmas took on a different look, dinners were often ordered and we stayed at home with his mom and brother, it was very low key. The farther I got form my childhood, the plainer Christmas got until one year we didn't get a tree at all and hardly noticed it pass. The next year TR surprised me with a fully decorated tree when I got home from work and we started making traditions of our own in earnest. We gave each other thoughtfully selected gifts, we tried to visit with both of our families and then Prima happened to us and Christmas once again became the magical time of year I remembered from my childhood. We have had many wonderful Christmas celebrations together, sometimes here at our house, sometimes far away (once with G'ma and G'mpa in Hawaii, the last we celebrated with G'mpa before he passed away) before children, after children with ALL the cousins piled in along with the aunties and uncles. It is a time of togetherness and celebration of the family we have carefully and intentionally built together.

Today was another in that long line of Christmases. The kids are old enough now that we were awake before them, but they still crept into our room and into bed for a snuggle, they opened stockings together and then waited until after breakfast for opening presents. Primo was "Santa" and handed out presents until he decided to open and enjoy his gifts. Everyone seemed content with the gifts they received and were happy with the reception of the gifts they gave (TR gave me a present that made me cry when I opened it, a set of barrettes like ones I had in 8th grade that I have always wanted again but finally gave up looking for because they didn't seem to be ANYWHERE out there).Mamma, WJRY and CC came over for dinner and we all hung out together, just enjoying each other's company. It was a good day and now everyone is off doing something quiet getting ready for bed. In ending tonight I will say "Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!"

Merry Christmas