Day Seventy-Eight, Ed Sheeran on Monday Morning

I am starting this early today because we are going out to dinner for Primo's belated celebration and I don't want to miss tonight's entry. Especially after noting that if I allow myself wiggle room, I will wiggle right out of whatever it is altogether. Sitting with the bright sun at my back, listening to Ed Sheeran declare his love, his sorrow, his joys and disappointments, thinking about all the things I would like to do and regretting the person that I passed by in my youth (that is the person that I chose not to be even though I wish I had let her in). I am struck by my proclamations of stillness and inactivity and how much I wish I had listened to my spirit when I was young and passionate and how much the stillness still grips me even though I know, I KNOW I will regret it when I am older. So today I am going to start my own NaNoWriMO, even though I am a month behind the nation and  have no one to go to coffee shops with or bounce ideas or progress off of. I will attempt is anyway and this, right here is my public proclamation than I will write 50,000 words this month, even with all the birthdays that will happen, with my Dad and BC's wedding, with Christmas, there will be all that and 50,000 words of mine. Even if I only write on word 50,000 times. I am going to do this. But I might not let anyone read it. I am going to start right now and I will report back here on my progress later today.

Quick update before I get ready to go pick up kids, I wrote 1907 words today which is about 240 more that the target number for day one. Yay, I have at least started and I have been working through the nasty editor in my head. At one point as I was disparaging the story, and my writing skills, I reminded myself that I swore I would do this even if I wrote only one word 50,000 times and clearly I had written way more than one word, so far I was ahead of the game.

I keep re-reading that last bit, wanting to change it until I read the whole thing and remember why I wrote it that way. Is that a reminder to look at the whole picture, that fragments don't always stand on their own? I do not know, maybe.

I spent the morning until pick up writing my book. I still haven't obtained running shoes, and started C25K, nor have I gone for the massage I keep telling myself should go for because I can feel my shoulder seizing up and I know my fingers will go numb next. I haven't even been up to the cottage in weeks, let alone worked on fixing it up, or even measured the windows. There are so many things I have not done, but I HAVE started my book. I said I would do it and I have done. Besides that not much, picking up kids, a bit of grocery shopping, washing clean (yes, I did load the dishwasher, which was mostly full of clean dishes, with dirty dishes, drip yucky stuff all over the clean ones and have to wash the whole shebang again) dishes, and the like.

We went out for Primo's birthday celebration at the House of Prime Rib, which for some reason is his favorite celebratory restaurant. It is far more expensive than it should be, but it is definitely an experience all it's own and he loves it, so once a year, we go. It was the same as usual, lots of people waiting, blimps loaded with prime rib wheeled around by chefs, carving table side. Super enthusiastic staff except the hostess, who is always different and never friendly. It was lovely, we went with MR and SM who always go with us, and they seem to be doing really well. I swear they are the busiest people, but happy and fun to be with.

Now everyone is tucked in beddy-bye waiting for sweet dreams to visit them. TR and I have turned in earlier than usual because of a lousy night's sleep last night. Before I go I do want to say that Primo came to me this morning saying that he is really happy with his life and himself. The things he cited as bringing him to this state are, being on the U15 A lacrosse team, having good grades, taking his responsibilities seriously and his girlfriend. That made me really happy. Prima spent the afternoon with me singing along  to Ed Sheeran, her voice matches his so well, she sounds so beautiful when she sings, I hope she doesn't follow in my footsteps and put her head down when faced with something she really loves. She has told us before that she wants to be a singer, I hope she grabs on to that dream and holds onto it as hard as she can, to make it her own and to show herself that if that is who she is, that is who she is going to be. She has definitely inherited her father's gloriousness. They excel in all things they set their minds and hearts to.

Now I am off to bed, I have written more today than I ever have and I am empty. I need to recharge for tomorrow. There is another 1667 word goal! Goodnight : )

The smell of summer