Day Thirty, Good-Night Ruby Tuesday

Today was a day of reminders. I was reminded that I am held in the heart of people that love me, and that if I am flailing in the doldrums, I need only to stretch out my hand to find my companion in the motor boat, ready to speed me away from the rocks. I was reminded that I am blessed in more ways than I can count, but not more ways than I am deserving of. I was reminded that, though I regularly forget it, the Little Prince is absolutely correct, "...what is essential is invisible to the eye". I was reminded of how much I love Mary Poppins weather, which is when the weather blows itself into what's coming next. I was reminded how sweet friendship can be. I was reminded  of goodness, and joy and satisfaction and hope. So I am reminded of the exhilaration of the anticipation of the future.

I made no list today, having complained, to my sister, bitterly of my talent for making lists and my appalling inability to follow through on them. Admittedly I was speaking of lists that I make regarding Big House Projects, but I decided to abandon the list for today.

I felt so bleak, and so defeated, I thought I would spend the day in bed, nursing a headache and a bad case of melancholy. I don't know what jump started me, but I changed direction and called LS and poured my heart out to her. She responded with support and tenderness, enough to whisk me through the melancholy, I went for a haircut and dye job and felt completely revitalized. When asked what I wanted to do with my hair, I did tell the Haircutter Lady that I wanted a haircut that made me 25 years younger and 50 pounds lighter. I never have done that before.

Now bed time has rolled around and I am remembering that I meant to start this blog so much earlier so I could do a bit more than recap the day and scoot off to bed. I am tucked snugly into my marshmallow bed and am ready to settle down into sleepytime. LS wrote me so many wonderful things today, so many healing words of love and wisdom, perhaps we came to this life together to make sure we get through it as intact as possible. Before I sneak away to bed I want to answer two things she brought up today.

One, and first, yes, yes, and yes, we do put other people's interests and priorities in front of our own and masquerade them as ours. We find our meaning in the importance of facilitating someone else's plans, hopes or desires, and then we are bewildered at how unfulfilled we are. We feel exhausted, and dis-engaged and wonder why we keep running faster but get no further. And I applaud that you noticed what a dis-service we are doing ourselves and I will be more mindful to give my interests, hopes and dreams the same serious regard I give to others. Thank you for helping me to see that.

Second, and secondly, LS looked over Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs with me today and discovered that we have two out five of the needs well in hand, and so are not, in fact, too far off from the goal of self actualization. Though when I read the comments on the web page she sent me the URL for, I became nervous that self actualization was actually insanity, as the comments were bizarre and made no sense to me what so ever. I am hoping that is NOT the case, but I probably won't find out until I am in that state, in which case I probably won't know or care that I am crazy cakes.

And with that, I bid a good night to any and all that are reading along this odd, 8 week journey with me and say, until tomorrow, goodnight!

The most beautiful view in the world